7. Balance is Inevitable - regulating emotions is a science

I want to take you back to school with me.

Can you recall the days in high school science, learning about Newton's Laws or molecular anatomy? Probably not. Unless you are in a field that uses this knowledge, or you're homeschooling teenagers, you probably left it at the podium on graduation day.

Most of us just put in the work necessary to pass the class didn't we?

We do this with a lot of things.

We just pass the time each day waiting for the next big event to pass us by. Checking off our greatest accomplishments then moving onto the next.

I'll be honest, I was never an Honor Roll student. I repeated Math and Science and found myself in summer school my senior year. I have always been the "good enough" type of person.

When I met my husband this was brought to the forefront of our relationship right away.

He is a diehard perfectionist.

We learned to appreciate balance in the same way a glass of ice water condensates on a hot summer day. The air and water are transferring energy back and forth until they can agree on a middle ground.

They find peace at room temperature.

Just like that glass of water, we humans are made up of molecular energy. Energy which interacts with our environment in the same way. You can feel this energy in the way of emotions.

Everyone may feel this energy through different parts of the body; but listen, and you will be able to speak this language to protect your peace.

Are you familiar with the phenomenon of meeting the eyes of a stranger across the room? Somehow you just KNEW someone was looking at you. And they probably felt it too. I truly believe our souls are not confined to our flesh bodies. When your soul makes arbitrary contact with another, the body responds.

Your body and soul react the same way as the exothermic process of a glass of water. When you walk into a room your energy responds to the energy of everyone else present. If there is turmoil, listen to where that hits your body.

Think of the time you got butterflies in your stomach.

Or of the way you might feel anger in your heart,

and guilt just between the shoulder blades.

Now what do you do when your child is in crisis?

You can mentally prepare yourself for this moment.

This moment is when you become the Peacebringer.

You will likely experience your body's systemic response to fight but you can make the choice to quickly return yourself to a calm mind and listen.

Do not REACT but RESPOND with empathy. If you come storming into the room demanding to know "what happened?!" the kids will undoubtedly adapt to your energy and then their fight or flight response will be heightened. As the conscious parent you have the ability to help them re-access their prefrontal cortex and teach them to use their problem solving abilities again.

When you enter the room, focus on bringing the calming energy like Jesus calming the storm. Chaotic energy cannot exist in a room alongside peaceful energy, the same way the ice melts in the glass. The energy either has to assimilate or go somewhere else. As the parent, be careful not to conform to the chaos. Lead your family out of the dark by your example.

Stop waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and become it.

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